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Hopelessly.

Designed my drawing book zz. That’s about as intricate as the design gets. #aztec 😜

Another 😭

I want to be away from people for awhile. They’re so fucking depressing.

theelemental-alchemist:

do you ever look at someone else’s art and whisper

 how

(via anythinganyhow)

Hey pretty! love the red hair :)xx
Anonymous

Aw thanks! x

After i woke up feeling groggy and useless i asked my dad if i could go out and all he said was “Hindi,” without even giving me a glance.
Damn. Hello attitude.

041213. Baldy, the counter guy.

Earlier today, when the sun was out and we’re pretty much sure it would burn our skins, we decided to walk Maxie because, let’s face it, being at home while watching your lolo eat biscuits and brush his dentures kind of ticks you off.
So we did, somewhere in Tulip street.
On the process of trying to avoid other dog shit on the street, we decided to take Max to her fellow Siberian Husky. And to her other dog friends. (Max has few dog friends. Like, 3-ish. The other one even bit her on the face. Maybe it’s because she looks like a boy.)

Afterwards we stopped by at Amazing’s. (it’s this drinking place we usually hang out in. It was last April 10, like 2 days ago, i hung out there with my friends and got pretty wasted.) 

Attempting innocence, i told my brother should just go in by myself because he’s holding Max anyway and dogs aren’t allowed inside. In reality, i didn’t want him to come inside because surely, the counter guy would recognize me from the 2 consecutive nights i’ve been there laughing my ass off as if the world’s made of funny.

So i strolled in the place, acting as if i was an innocent shopper who just stopped buy for food and not for alcohol. Pretending to be interested in a can of beans, i secretly took a glance at the counter and saw the damn counter guy narrowing his eyes at me like i’ve grown 2 heads or something.
So i bought food and shoved them at the counter and smiled at Baldy. (his hair was like, super non-existent.)
Getting the chips from the counter, he said “Diba ikaw yung nandito nung isang gabi?” my eyes twitched, smiling. He fucking remembers.
He might as well have said “Diba ikaw yung wasted dito nung isang gabi?”
"Ay opo, ako po yun." remembering how i almost tripped on their front door last time because i was actually too wasted to walk properly. 

Then at some point he started to ask if it was my brother outside the shop. And i reluctantly answered yes, it was. My skin was crawling because i honestly thought he was going to call my brother and tell him i’ve been out for two consecutive nights drinking ungodly bottles of red horse with my friends. But then i remember that Baldy’s interested in guys (yes. He is, infact, a faggot.) As soon as i handed him the money, i grabbed the plastic bags and dashed out.

Can’t sleep. Plus, headache. 7am.

Dyed my hair red, by the way.

You know how i’ve been wishing my entire life to to dye my hair red?
Well i finally did, just the day before graduation. Not totally red but it’s still kind of red so it’s okay. I was hoping to achieve an even brighter red (like you know, bleaching and stuff) but i decided i loved my hair too much to damage it with bleach. Well graduation day was kind of crazy. It’s good that my hair wasn’t as bright because if it was, Monsi might’ve kicked my ass out of the stage while getting my diploma.

Sigh

There are two things in life that scares the living daylights out of me. One is waking up in the middle of the night to check my reflection in a shiny mirror nearby and discover myself bald. Not likely to occur since—let’s face it—my hair’s pretty awesome and i’m probably going to keep it for the rest of my life. Even when i’m like 81 and my boobs are starting to deflate or something, it’s still growing. The second thing was crying uncontrollably for no reason. 

I’ve been so emotional thee past few days. Too emotional, in fact, that even sad songs make me ugly cry. (yes, i was crying on my pillow the other night. Medyo nakakawala ng dignidad.)
But yeah, before that, i also cried over this book “Wait For You” by JLynn and i had no idea why but i just began to cry because there was this guy, Cam, who was very sexy and sweet, who cooked her eggs every Sunday morning in her apartment and gave her rides to school even though she has her own car and and maybe, just maybe, i wanted to be treated that way too. I mean duh, who in their right mind wouldn’t want the sexiest guy on campus in her apartment? i know do. 

I was trying to sleep while listening to “I Know You Care” by Elli Goulding, and i don’t know if i’m just crazy or what, but the song fit perfectly in the damn book i was reading. (I’m too tired to elaborate anything in the book, so just read it if you want because it’s pretty good and your panties might fall off on the process.) so while listening i recalled the events from the book like how Cam tried to do everything just so Avery could say yes to a freaking date and i just began crying. Crying because the guy was so determined to get her to say yes to him. Who does that anymore?

Also, yesterday i watched the movie “Now Is Good” starring Dakota Fanning and she has this leukemia or whatever and she was dying and she met this boy who made her so, so happy (typical) I’ve already expected her to die in the end but i still cried anyway because her dad loved her too much and her mom wasn’t ever there those times she was sick. 

To sum it all up, i want those. (not leukemia  okay.) i want a guy to hold me and i want him too spoon with me on my bed and whisper reassurances in my ear (i also want him to be cute because there’s no way am i going to let a very unattractive boy hold me in his arms (unless his personality’s a win)) I also want him to love me and not to expect anything from me and cook me scrambled eggs in the morning and drive me to school and do everything just for me to say yes. I want him to make me happy. Will that ever happen? 

It will not. Woo pity party.
Stupid thoughts.

Progress. Even though i really really really want to blog so bad, i just can’t make myself do it. I suck, i know. I miss blogging about my teacher who has these huge nostrils.

WIP. A rough, rough draft.

Lion portrait. At long fucking last.